I have been giving a lot of advice lately & I am noticing that something stands out in all of it.  In every problem I have been given, in every instance where I am asked for my opinion or called at 3am by a woman in tears….I have come to realize…

We women share too much. 

I never knew you could share too much. Sharing has always been seen as a good thing, & usually it is. When we are children we are applauded for sharing our toys, & sharing snacks with those around us. Sharing was something that was taught early on in most of our lives. Especially the lives of us that had younger siblings, when I had something…..soon after I would set it down & sometimes even well before I was done using it my brother had taken it & begun to use it himself.

People love stories….and sharing stories is something that few people get paid to do. Author’s write and share stories. Comedians share stories because people love to laugh & will pay to have someone entertain them. Sharing stories from our lives is also something we are taught to do… Grandparents share stories of where they grew up & the things that they have experienced. Parents share stories with their kids about their childhoods, & the lessons they have learned.  Sisters share stories about friends & boys. Friends share stories about embarrassing things that have happened to themselves or others. Some of these stories are painful. Some stories are sad, some are happy. But ultimately ….. The stories that have been shared this week around me are from a different relationship.
 Women sharing negative stories with friends, about their significant other.
(Being privileged to be the one hearing about these women’s stories & problems from home is one thing. & I would never violate a confidence. So I will not be sharing these women’s stories with you today. Instead I will be speaking to the many women who may stumble across this post.)



You have so much might, beauty, strength, & ability… beyond your wildest imagination. You can create the most amazing images for others with your ability to tell stories; you can share tales that will have women weeping, men laughing & children star-struck. YOU although you may never get paid for it…. do it daily. You share stories daily & give others an image based only on what you say.

I cannot stress the importance of this next paragraph enough. Tears in my eyes remind me of the moments when I have broken this rule in my marriage, & I have learned this lesson painfully.

You control how other people see your significant other. You hold the greatest power in your tongue.  (James 3:8-12)

You can bless him, or curse him.

You can speak ill of him, or you can speak greatness into his character.

You control his image.

When people listen to you talk about how he did this or he was lazy & didn’t do that.

People see your husband in the light you place him in.

If you go around work complaining about your husband, don’t expect your co-workers to like him very much. If you call your mother every time you fight but not when he is sweet….don‘t expect her to like him very much.  If you only mention how he left his socks on the ground or left dinner out on the stove instead of putting it away, or how you got into a fight before you got there & it was his entire fault. Don’t expect people to fall in love with your man if you are only giving them an image of poor quality to look at.

Some of these phrases may strike a nerve or memory.

“I just wish he”

“He is so”

“I just don’t understand why He”

“He is causing so many problems”

“Why can’t He just”

“It’s not like I am asking for him to…”

Do any of those sound familiar to you? I know I have said all too many of them. 

The issue with these phrases lies in the fact that we are sharing with others what we should be keeping between God & ourselves. We aren't in intimate relationships with everyone else, so none of the intimate details need to go into the ears of others.

Ladies…we alone are the worlds perception of our husbands. WE are their greatest asset & their greatest strength. You are his armor, building him up & strengthening his defenses, giving others a true vision of his character.

But just as well we can easily become their greatest weaknesses.. But you can also be the spear that divides that armor & allows his heart & ego to be hurt. We never need to be that spear. It is important that nothing negative leaves our lips about our men. They need to be protected. & our words are the biggest way that we can fail to see that we are losing respect & losing the privacy that our family needs to grow & be united .

Some of the phrases you may want to adopt are

“He always looks out for our family”

“I love how he”

“He knows what he’s doing.”

“I trust him”

“I’m so proud of Him”

“He can.”

“He works so hard for us.”

Remember…..God united you. He had the two made into one unity. (Mark 10:7-9) NOT you & all your girlfriends’ opinions, not you & your mother, not you & his mother, not you & your co-workers. You & Him.  

Speak Life sisters.

- Jessica


Anna Centeno :)
06/20/2013 9:25pm

I love your blog... its so true of what you wrote! !! I love it girl. :)

06/21/2013 10:45am

Great post, Jessica. I know I'm guilty of this so thank you so much for opening my eyes. I enjoys your blogs so much, I honestly relate to most of them. You make me look at life in a whole new perspective!

06/21/2013 11:14am

Your soul is older than your years. You have a gift for seeing into one's heart and know the true person. You also follow Philip 4:8 to the letter like most of us should but don't. Thanks for the encouragement.

06/21/2013 1:59pm

Beautifully written Jess! I love watching you mature and grow!! This is great and always a good reminder!


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