Love is something we all misunderstand.

Something we don’t quite get.

But probably the most common misconception is that there is THE ONE out there waiting for you. In many ways we are led to believe or simply hold on to the fact that someone is holding out just for us. However.... love is not all butterflies and happy thoughts. And usually right when that shift from infatuation or "romantic love" moves into "seasoned love" the two people realize that the other person is not as terrific as they first might have thought. In fact most times, the eye opening quirks and habits turn us off from one another rather than on! How can we prepare our future generations for the shift in love? How can we let them know beforehand that love is a day to day decision. Not based on a feeling or how the other person handles themselves, but based solely on how we choose to handle the issues that come up. Love wont be the feeling 100% of the time, but every issue can be handled with love 100% of the time. 

Quote by Jessica Smith Wallace
The other day I was sitting and thinking about some helpful advice we have been giving to some of our friends who are in relationships. While I was thinking about that, the phrase that I think most of our parents have told us came to mind.

"One day you will meet someone who will love you for the great girl you are." 

Now this can apply to both men and women. But honestly just what were our parents preparing us for?? If we met and fell in love with someone and both of us just loved one another the way we were….we would never advance to a good committable future.

If I was the same person I was all those years ago….goodness me I would not be fit to be married. I feel like we encourage our children to enter relationships with the belief that they are perfect just the way they are. And while yes, conforming strictly because someone says you should is wrong….I believe we should encourage our youth to think for themselves but also to seek wise counsel.

For instance if I wanted good financial information I wouldn’t get it from all the people at Chili’s. That is just bad counsel. Those people are in the same boat as I am. I should seek financial information from someone I know who is doing significantly better in that area than I am. 

My wedding vows.
I feel like what we really should have been told was.....

"One day you will meet someone who will challenge every thought you ever had, and point out that you need to change in all the areas you thought were just fine.”

Because if you get into a relationship and expect to stay the same person, that’s a flawed belief. We get into relationships and then proceed to grow one another and help one another reach our fullest potential. And that is the greatest gift a great relationship or marriage can give you. Loving someone is helping to challenge them and being there for them when the rough times come, agreeing to solve conflict and hold standards for yourselves in dating, marriage, and in your commitment. 

There will be days that suck. You will shed tears, you will have difficulty holding hands, or sometimes even sharing a bed. Through all of those things, never let go. Always choose to love one another. Remember that love can be the way we handle our problems. But loving someone doesn't protect you from having them. Making sure that your actions are not affected by the difficult times that come along, is definitely of massive importance. Don't sleep separately even when you think there is a reason. Don't refuse to kiss them before they leave or hold their hand.

Last but not least.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; 
love does not envy or boast; 
it is not arrogant 5 or rude. 
It does not insist on its own way; 
it is not irritable or resentful; 
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Speak life sisters
      -Jessica Smith Wallace

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