I have been trying to write this post for over a week now. February has already been a month that has tested my trust in my husband, my faith in God, and my ability to let go of some difficult baggage I carry around. 


I’ve just had so much learning and growing going on, and I know that I should always wait for the growing period to pass before I try and write about what I think it means, because at the end of the experience your point of view is more aware of how everything worked together for a bigger purpose. 


A few days before February I was thinking about what word to focus on for the month when it hit me like a lightning bolt. As the word swelled up in my heart I knew I found the right one, but I also doubted myself, and God’s direction. You see, I felt that the word for the month was something I was already an expert in, something I did pretty well, something I thought I didn't need any help in. BOY WAS I WRONG….

You see, the word that God gave me in that still moment was Cherish.

I just didn’t see how God could possibly mean that I had something to learn about cherishing my husband. I knew I loved him, that’s what cherish meant right? I valued him; I was totally wrapped up in him most of the time. I just kind of disregarded my thoughts and went to write the post.

My computer froze. So I went the next day to write it again.

I exited the browser while posting it.... losing all my work.

So I tried again. I was really getting annoyed now.

I backed out of my app on my phone while writing and it didn’t save again.

I pretty much gave up at this point. It was already the 5th of February and as far as I knew my computer, phone, and browser were all possessed by some kind of impossible blog demon. I set my phone down and looked at my notebook just struck by frustration. I sighed and set everything down and went to get ready for work.



I remembered that in the end of january I got the bright idea to ask for us to have Thursday off (the next day) I had planned originally to have a date night, when I all of the sudden got a bright idea to travel somewhere and stay for a few nights. 


So I reserved a cottage in Fredericksburg and we left after work that night. Yes it was that spontaneous. I saw this as a break for both of us, and a chance to recharge my blogging batteries. 


It was so spontaneous that you might think that God couldn't have possibly have had a hand in it, and yet I know he always does. I know now that the trip was completely necessary. That trip taught me to cherish my husband in more ways than I knew existed.


Cherish means to

: to feel or show great love for (someone or something)

: to remember or hold (an idea, belief, etc.) in a deeply felt way

: to hold dear :  feel or show affection for 

: to keep or cultivate with care and affection :  

: to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely to feel passion, devotion, or tenderness for

:to keep in one's mind or heart

The thing about the definition of cherish that hit me the hardest however, were some of the words that were the opposite of cherish. Some of them are as follows. I had to really take a long look at myself and realize just how often I do some of these. How often do I go against what I thought I was so great at doing?

How often do I

disapprove 

undervalue 

bad-mouth, 

belittle, 

minimize,

write off;

abandon, 

forget, 

neglect

disvalue,

disregard,

ignore,

quit.

 As I sat and contemplated this... I realized I struggle with cherishing my husband almost daily. As a woman who guards and cares for his heart and mind I have to remind myself to do all of the above and never neglect, forget, or disregard him.


On our spontaneous trip this week I learned that a part of cherishing one another in a relationship is definitely the preservation of memories. Looking past present struggles to revisit the reasons you fell in love in the first place will always make you feel closer than before. 

Things like listening to songs we enjoyed while together, dancing under the moonlight or just talking during a road trip all evoke special memories for my husband and I. 



Putting our phones down and having specific intent to do these things together really does make a difference in our focus.We know all these meaningless facts about our friends we never see but the man or woman who we spend our time with every day gets our face in our phone and our muffled uh huhs in response.  We neglect and forget what's really at risk. We have stopped cherishing and begun forgetting why we fell in love, and in today's society falling in and out of love is as common as the next months edition of your favorite magazine. 

Instead of treating people like last months editions our relationships need to be more like a favorite pair of shoes or jeans, you wear them with every outfit, you wear out a few holes in them due to constant friction, and yet they get cozy and comfortable. we all have a pair like this.... you still treasure them and would never in your life think of throwing them out. people view relationships as temporary feelings, not as a thing to be cultivated and grown into. When you encourage and build up one another your relationship will just get sweeter with time. That stale feeling may rear it's ugly head now and again, but it's what we do to counter it that makes a difference.

Ephesians 5:29 

For no man ever hated his own flesh; 

but nourishes and cherishes it, 

even as the Lord also does the assembly;







Philippians 4:8 

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever wins respect, 

whatever is just, whatever is pure, 

whatever is lovable, whatever is of good repute

--if there is any virtue or anything deemed worthy of praise--

cherish the thought of these things.




“Wounds heal. Scars fade. Awful memories can be overwritten with better ones if given the chance. The little imperfections of our psyches become overshadowed by the people whose love we cherish because they cherish us despite our faults; physical, emotional, spiritual, or otherwise. This thing we call the human condition with all its bittersweet blind corners and senseless humor evolves from within ourselves and not because of some pre-ordained reverie we desire to cast in the constellations.

All in all it is what makes life worth living.” 
― August Clearwing, Never Have I Ever





 





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