I know I haven’t been writing a whole heck of a lot, to be honest I have been so preoccupied with making sure the bills get paid in time for my trip to Austin in 2 weeks that I haven’t been doing much of anything besides WORK. UGH.

I learned a LOT about character this week. The Husband and I have been working on settling some inner grudges we have been holding against people for years. I realized that your dominate thoughts about a person, situation, or thing…. Demonstrate your character when it comes to that specific item.

So the person, (who shall remain nameless since I know they might read this) and I have not been on good terms in my head. In fact I think I am the only person holding the relationship at arm’s length (more like a ten foot pole). If I had never let the anger fester in my heart to begin with things would never have gotten this bad.

 I started thinking about it last week,And the evidence that it was something I needed to seriously approach in myself, became evident when my Husband brought it to me, and asked for my opinion on his resolving his long held grudge with another person. I realized the fact we were both seeking ways to resolve a long held issue at the same time, and it could not be a coincidence.

 I knew it meant that this was a serious issue I needed to really take time to get sorted out.  When we discussed it we realized the reason we were having such a hard time letting go, was because we felt the other person deserved it. 

They deserved our anger, our silence, and separation. They had hurt us so why would we try and form a relationship? If we forgave them then no one would be left to stand up for us and our feelings. No one could be angry at them anymore. If I forgave them  I could not be angry anymore. I needed to forgive, and forget. I needed to mold my character.

If my dominate thoughts about a person are negative or judgmental….how can I say I have good character?

If my dominate thoughts about work are never passionate, how can I say I have good character?

If my dominate thoughts about my living situation are never uplifting and hopeful, how can I say that I am a person who can mentor and give great advice to others?

If I am holding this grudge against said person, how can I encourage others to heal relationships in their own lives….when I hardly want to work on my own?

The truth is …. I can’t

I cannot honestly expect anyone to look up to me and see me as this great example to follow unless I am daily working towards becoming a better person.

I think that God is calling my family to work on our character, and I think its going to be so difficult….but so worth it in the long run.

Speak Life Sisters!
-Jessica Smith Wallace

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