I really want my own place ....

                       Like I mean really.

                          I'm tired of waking up in someones childhood room. . .
                                                       in someone elses space

We sleep in my husbands room of 23 years .....With Marvin the Martian borders that glow in the dark...and clothespins that hang on the ceiling fan pulls Just because they always have.  Once there were wrestling posters covering the ceiling but I took those down one day in a fit of anger about my circumstances.

                                                     I love my husband.... 

                                                                  BUT I greatly dislike our living situation right now.

 I never stop looking for our new home. Constantly working on saving up what I deem a good enough amount of money,
I always see new houses, make appointments with people to walk through rentals. And in my spare time i complain about what i dislike about living in someones home. I feel like i am doing everything in my power to get out and everything and its neighbor is working against me. 

See a thought struck me yesterday as I was listening to Lisa Hawkins speak about her growth was stemming from a major point in the fact that 

she held her discomfort and desires above her husbands purpose....
When I heard that line I had to relax my entire body so I didn't give away to my husband who was next to me....the mental breakthrough I had just had. I was too prideful to admit to him I had in fact been doing the same thing.

              I had been placing my discomfort with our living situation,
                           and my desires for a new place of our own 
                                           above his purpose

I swallowed my pride and let the reality of that phrase sink in. the depth of it....the pain of it. 

Who was I to say that God couldn't use us in a room covered in Martian memorabilia? who am I to demand that God put his plans on hold so that we could have our own place? How can i ask that of HIM. The one who has my greatest interests at heart...

                                                            "God.... I prayed. make my desires your desires." 

see... I needed to find my comfort in Christ,  and not  discomfort in my circumstances.
Which brought to mind the fact that I had forgotten my favorite verse ....I had ceased praying it over my family and over my mind. It came back that instant like a wildfire coursing through my veins causing everything I felt to seem  foolish.

Psalms 37:4....

delight yourself in the lord. and he will give you the desires of your heart.



and then ... he will give you the desires of your heart.
...my challenge to you is to pray this verse for the month of July. Over your loved ones and your own mind ... Often times we get so caught up in what we want from God we forget about what we need to be giving to God. Such as our time, our focus, our hearts, and our devotion.

Speak Life

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