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Some sketching from my journal that's blogcademy themed :) drawn specifically for this post :)
It all started one day when I shared a dream with my husband… I wanted to attend Blogcademy.   
I had wanted to attend it from the second it was announced on Gala Darlings blog page.

                    I wanted this more than a five year old wants Disney Land.

I saw the extravagant ears and bright colored dresses worn by the headmistresses.  Then i began to desire their confidence and demeanor in myself. There was a problem however . . .I was afraid I would never be so lucky….No one ever said I would fail …..No one but me. 

    I was learning that your own voice is sometimes the loudest of them all.

 I allowed that small inward voice to control my decisions and I decided I would never amount to much as a professional lifestyle blogger. So I shoved my dreams of glitter and kitty cat ears aside for smaller more achievable things.

So when I heard that blogcademy was coming to Austin I told my husband about it with disdain and sadness in my voice. I quietly explained the scholarship option to him and he asked why I wasn't working on that. I admitted to him that I was nothing special and how much of a chance would I have at winning something like that. Gala, Shauna, And Kat shone like blogging  angels above me and I was a mere mortal. He looked at me and said with a firm voice…You will never know unless you try. I pushed his encouraging words aside as I let my fear and disbelief flood my heart and mind. I completely gave up in that instant.

About one week before the Austin scholarship entries needed to be sent in, I was in the shower. I had just finished listening to a talk about how letting fear control your thoughts will eventually end in it controlling your actions.  And  I started thinking….What do I have to lose by trying my hardest to win? Yeah so I only have a week to create something amazing….Sometimes in one moment your entire mindset can change….Like that moment with shampoo in my hair and hope in my heart. I am not my fear. And I can grow past this. 

This post is my entry for the Blogcademy scholarship for Austin Texas.



             Imagine IF I went to blogcademy.

What could the possibilities be? What potential does winning this scholarship have for me? 

Imagine If I  go and become so passionate about encouraging women that I challenge myself to grow so I learn more to help women as they travel on their own journey of self-discovery.

Imagine If I go and get so inspired that it lights a fire in my heart that reminds me consistently that I faced my fear of stepping out and I AM BIGGER THAN MY FEAR.

Imagine If I go and come back completely changed and take on my blog with a purpose and plan.

Imagine if I  met women who can encourage and remind me that I DON’T SUCK when I feel my lowest.

Imagine if I go to Austin and find a different, stronger, more confident me.

JUST

Imagine ….


If I finally get the whole blog design thing down pat.

If from this I get the bravery it takes to go back to college

If from this I eventually collaborate with another woman equally excited about design and changing lives

If one day I can pursue my dream of designing furniture.

If I come out of my shell and feel comfortable in my skin.

If I encourage one woman to see herself as beautiful when she feels all alone,

If I remind someone that FEAR does not have to rule your life if you just STEP UP and try.

IMAGINE….IF I WIN the scholarship….to Blogcademy Austin.

I can only imagine it for now….I hope that in the end It is reality.

You can either live your life in fear, 
and stay there. 
Or you can stand up and challenge all you believe about yourself. 

-Speak Life Sisters

Jessica Smith Wallace 


 


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