Do you ever feel like a complete and utter failure? Like you let down everyone around you? Like because of one of your actions everyone's opinion of you changed?  Or have you ever said to yourself.....OH NO I can't believe I just said that.....PLEASE WORDS COME BACK!!!!!!! I have felt like that this week more than once. A simple walk through my failures week this week would include..... 
  • Failing to communicate with my husband. 
  • Leaving the dog outside all day 
  • Leaving the dog outside for half the day
  • Leaving dirty dishes in the sink over two days
  • Forgetting which day was trash day & ending up with two cans full.
  • Packing the car full of things to take to storage on Sunday......& here we are at Thursday & I still haven't gone.
  • Getting into an argument with my husband that ended in tears & apologies right before a meeting of his for work.
  • Catching up on three days of bible study reading this morning. 
  • Talking bad about a co-worker with other co-workers & NOT leaving the conversation, but encouraging it.

I feel like I failed life immensely this week. My in-laws were out of town this week & Hubby & I have had the house & responsibility of the house all to ourselves. This has been a harder predicament than I previously expected. We started having our family meetings on Monday nights. These always consist of a challenge. One from ourselves & One from our spouse. My own challenge for myself was to walk away from any negative talk. I feel terrible about the things I said & overheard today. But what is even worse is that my challenge wasn't ever on my mind. I never once thought about it. I wanted to cry on the way home tonight as I let the fact wash over me that I was a terrible representation of Christ in my workplace tonight. Not only that, but I didn't think things in the quiet of my mind, or in the confines of conversation with my husband.....no no no......I blabbed & blabbed & blabbed some more. I will try and keep my challenge on my mind daily this week. By setting up a reminder on my phone every three hours, or by post it noting it on my mirror & steering wheel. I want to be a better example, & I have to start with me. Never let your failures over ride your successes. Always strive to be better & work hard to learn from mistakes. 

My successes for the week include 
  • Cleaning all day Saturday & accomplishing more than I expected
  • Cooking breakfast for my husband twice this week.
  • Cleaning all our laundry
  • Going to three meetings for my husbands business this week.
  • Spending time with my sister & seeing my mom
  • Paying bills & making money
  • Committing to have our meeting even though it meant staying out till 2 am
  • Standing up for someone else
  • Encouraging my friends
  • Listening to five encouraging cds 
  • Washing all the dishes in the sink :) & unloading the dishwasher

More tomorrow. I'm off all day! :) Much love 
-Jessica
 


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